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Good morning, J-birds! It’s 10:40 a.m. on Wednesday, March 18, 2020. I’m listening to Jerome by Lizzo. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t already given up on this weekly post thing. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m actually the worst at being consistent. Maybe I’m growing as a person? It’s possible in theory, isn’t it?

This week I’ve been obsessed with decorating. I rent a room in a townhouse with three other roommates. Because we’re all tenants, the house has always been pretty bare. I never really minded before because I made my room super comfortable. It’s like a sanctuary for me. Recently, though, the common areas (living room, dining room, kitchen) have been bothering me. I think it’s because I’m settled in now (it only took a year and a half) so my brain is nudging me to make everything homey.

I’ll fully admit that I’m the type of person that puts down roots and won’t budge. I’m also very territorial of spaces that I consider mine. I like things to be pretty and comfortable. And I hate walking into the place I live and wishing I loved it more.

Like my roommates, I’ve been complaining about how sad it makes me that our house isn’t more like a home for ages. Unlike them, I’m fed up with not making it better. Part of my hesitation stemmed from the financial cost involved with decorating. That, added to the fact that I only rent the place, made me wary of investing the time and money required. But I’ve already lived here for a year and a half, and I highly doubt I could find cheaper rent in this area, which I don’t want to move from.

Every time I go downstairs, I imagine what it could look like. I’ve already bought curtains for the living room and dining room. My roommate, Tomorrow, has been commenting about how she wants to buy a little curtain for the window above the sink in the kitchen. I’m not against it, but so far it’s been only me paying for this stuff. I haven’t asked them for any money, and I most likely won’t. Still, a kitchen curtain isn’t my priority, so if Tomorrow wants one, she can buy it herself.

Both Tomorrow and Sailor have lived here longer than me. Our third roommate, Litmon, is newer than even me and I don’t talk to her that much. But Tomorrow and Sailor have lived here for years without making a move to personalize. Which is fine. Not everyone is like me. I tend to linger over whether to do something, and then do it impulsively in a moment. That’s how I got all my tattoos and it’s how I’m decorating my home, too. I’m just worried about becoming irritated if they either don’t respect what I buy or insist on decorating a certain way with things I paid for. Or object to the way I’m decorating. Because obviously you can deal with it even if you don’t like it. You’ve been doing that for literal years.

Add that to the fact that I can’t teach right now since they closed schools where I live to combat Corona Virus. That means I’ve been cut off from my most lucrative source of income. I still have writing, but there’s no way I can be as consistent with it. Of the other jobs I have, one is in customer service which puts me at risk of catching the ‘Rona, and the other is tedious and time consuming. So who knows whether I’ll actually be able to keep up with the decorating I’ve started. Yet, even knowing this, I spent at least two hours looking at different lamps and dining sets this morning. Maybe if I ever finish, I’ll post a picture of it.

I’ll wrap up my ramblings now. I hope all of you precious J-birds are blessed with an amazing day.

Love and good vibes,

Jacy

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