Symptoms

Hello, readers! I don’t know if anyone out there is actually reading this, but why not shout into the void and see if I get an echo, hm?

So here I am again a week later. This is the second post I’m making in my attempt to post at least once a week. There’s been a lot going on in my life, as there always is. I actually started a new page in my notes on my phone to keep track of all the things it occurred to me to talk about. I’m honestly like a goldfish. It takes less than a second for  me to completely forget things. For example, my favorite colors are yellow and blue and it randomly occurred to me yesterday that the perfect type of engagement ring would be one set with lapis lazuli instead of a diamond. I typed into my notes ‘Look up lapis lazuli engagement rings.’ and forgot about it in the next moment, until I opened up my notes today to be surprised by the task. 

Somehow, I managed to put down bedtime/sleeping and insomnia at two different places in my blog post list. Which obviously means that I’m having a bit of trouble with my nighttime rest. I keep falling asleep anywhere from 6-9 p.m. and waking up from 3-5 a.m. I think yesterday I fell asleep at 6 and I ended up waking up at 10. Then I stayed up until 4, took a nap until 5, and got up for my day. I don’t feel very affected right now. In fact, I feel quite awake. However, I know that by this afternoon, I’m going to be exhausted. I doubt I’ll be able to get through all the work I want to get through this evening, if I can even start it. And that’s if I don’t go to the gym and the grocery store like I’d like to.

Then again I’m only subbing for a half day today, but I want to stay because my friend, Luna, who’s also a substitute, has been having a rough go of it lately. Her home situation isn’t the greatest at the moment and it’s having some extremely negative results on her mental health. I’m always happy to spend time with her, and I don’t think I’m being conceited when I say it helps a little, but the best thing for her would be if she could manage to establish herself in her own home instead of where she is right now. I want to help so much, especially because I remember being in that exact situation and wishing someone would just help me so I could catch a break. Luckily for me, I found a cheap enough place with some roommates that I could get out. She has options, but I don’t know how hard she’s working to seize them.

I really hope that someday I’ll be able to afford to buy houses and then rent them to students and others in need as low income housing. It’s ridiculous how hard people have to work just to have a safe place to live. Having a home of your very own, a place you can destress, a sanctuary, is so very important to peak mental health. It just relieves a burden to not have to be walking on eggshells all the time, to not have to be watching the clock, bracing yourself for when someone comes home. Always wondering whether something you do is going to get you in trouble. It’s exhausting. And when there’s none of that because you’re under your own roof and can do as you please, there’s hardly anything else that provides such a sense of peace.

I’m glad I got out, and I hope I can help other people get out. We’ll see. 

Alright, Jacy Junkies (does that work? I’m gonna go with it.) I’ll end this here. I have a feeling these posts are going to get progressively longer. I hope I don’t bore anyone.

Love and good vibes,

 Jacy

P.S.: Here some questions for you all to answer in the comments!

  1. Do you know what type of engagement ring you’d like to wear? (This question is open for anyone to answer.)
  2. What do you do to help you fall asleep?
  3. What’s the last thing you did to help a friend?
  4. Where is your sanctuary?

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